Bert Vandecasteele

Author: Bert

  • Bioshock Infinite – Burial at Sea

    I just finished Burial at Sea and I’m slightly confused.

    Then again, I was slightly confused with Bioshock Infinite, too. For those who don’t care about spoilers, here’s a little rundown: You’re essentially a guy who sold his baby on a drunken whim. Fifteen years later, you’re off to a floating city to rescue her. The hitch: You sold your baby to an older version of yourself from a different dimension – one who regretted selling his baby and decided to steal yours.

    Now as far as weird plots go, this one takes the cake. It’s remarkably well told for a video game (it should be no secret I’m not entirely enthusiastic about the stories told in games at the moment) – just the right amount of mystery and confusion. It never truly came together, and people were frustrated.

    So in comes the DLC for Bioshock Infinite – Burial at Sea. It takes place in Rapture – the city from the first game. And proceeds to link the first Bioshock to Bioshock Infinite. Amazingly, it actually pulls it off. I still don’t get how (or why), but they do!

    But then you try to get to the emotional core of the story. This time, you’re playing as the girl. She used to have the power to see across dimensions (having been stolen etc). And now she lost it. This makes her mortal. Yaddayadda.

    I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel cheated. Cheated because Bioshock Infinite opened up a spectacular multiverse theory, one that truly boggled my mind. And then they just leave it hanging. Close it off and ignore it just to finish the story.

    And that’s the thing, right? Irrational Games and, at the helm, Ken Levine, knowing full well he’ll never be able to make another game as massive in scope as Bioshock Infinite, so he might aswell just close off all the last threads so no one else touches his game.

    You might call him paranoid, but they’ve done it before with Bioshock 2.

    What a shame, I say. I mean: I get it completely, wanting to protect your story. What drives me up the wall, however, is something else entirely: It’s the complete emotional distance with which he brings his story to a close.

    Burial at Sea is completely unemotional. Just compare it to the main game, which was filled with emotional sucker punches. I mean, just look at the scene that starts at 8:20.

     

    Violence! Character development! And then the immediate follow-up with a silent, emotional moment. Sure, you might call it pulpy, but god damnit, even then: This is brilliant pulp!

    Where are these scenes in Burial at Sea? Where’s the emotion? Why do I get the impression this story was written by a bitter, angry man who wanted nothing more than for it all to end?

    What a shame.

     

  • The amazing adventures of Kavalier and Clay

    I don’t really read a lot. I mean, I like to read, but it’s something I can only do when I’ve got peace of mind. I remember reading IT and The Stand on a holiday in France – tackling these mastodonts back to back was pretty much the best reading experience I’ve ever had.

    Unfortunately, The amazing adventures of Kavalier and Clay, a Pulitzer-crowned epic by Michael Chabon, couldn’t get that treatment. I started reading it at the Warsaw Film Fest last October and I couldn’t find time to finish it until last weekend.

    But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

    (more…)

  • About yours truly

    About yours truly

    About me:

    • Name: Bert Vdc
    • Occupation: Screenwriter
    • Nationality: Belgian/German
    • Location: Smack dab in the middle o’ Germany
    • Qualifications: Screenwriting (Deutsche Film- und Fernsehakademie Berlin); Master in Pedagogics (Katholieke Universiteit Leuven)
    • Portfolio: Mail me

    About the site:

    Welcome! This place mainly acts as my online portfolio, but because I obviously like writing in general it’s also a blog. I’m already getting confused.

    Enjoy the read and feel free to drop me a line!

  • Things I did

    Things I did

    Thanks for coming to a page titles like a murder confession. Alas, it’s just boring ole writer stuff.

    A few things I wrote:

    • Mia (2013), a short film by Wouter Bongaerts about a little girl in a big city. It won a couple of awards.
    • Sixteen episodes of Familie (2015), Belgium’s longest-running soap which I also watched as a kid.
    • And now for the most complicated one: I have a hand in about 200 episodes of the German medical In aller Freundschaft – die jungen Ärzte (2016-current). I have done everything possible, starting as a floor writer who rewrites small scenes, then being promoted to an editor who rewrites screenplays, and then finally being bumped up to co-headwriter who oversees and guides script development. From the top of my head I think am credited for episodes 149, 162, 173, 192, 194, 204, 227, 240 and 243, and I co-wrote the second TV movie special Adventskind.

  • Papers, Please

    I snagged Papers, Please in a recent Steam sale. I’d known about this game for ages, and while a tenner isn’t exactly a steep price for a critically acclaimed game, the whole craze around the thing just kind of turned me off. Now, however, having played this game, I will immediately jump on the barricades and start co-applauding this brilliant gem along with the impressed mob.

    (more…)

  • German Bratkartoffeln

    Hey nerds,

    HERE ARE THE SECRETS THE GERMANS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!!!

    I made actual German bratkartoffeln. And good news: if you can read this post, you can too!

    2014-01-21 18.14.54

    You need:

    • Potatoes. Like, how many you want.
    • An onion. Like, half an onion per portion. But leaving half an onion in the fridge sucks because you’ll just forget about it. I know you will.
    • A non cast-iron anti-stick pan. With a cover.

    Peel potatoes, cut them up (evenly and shit). Throw that shit in water for a moment. That’s the German secret to success: Water. It fucks with the potatoes’ chemistry and them kartoffels don’t know what up.

    Then get them out of the water. Dry them. And throw them in your frying pan. Cover them. Wait for 25 minutes (I listened to some fine music. But you can get drunk. I think 25 minutes is enough time for that). Now and again you wanna check on them taters and flip them around so they don’t get all fucked up.

    Cut an onion. Cry a little. Lament existence. Toss the onion in the pan. Cover it up again. And wait for another 5 minutes. Only then can you mix it with the potatoes like some racist analogy for slavery.

    Wait another 5 minutes. Cos life is long, right!?

    Then put them on a plate and gobble them up. Like, with Brussels sprouts and bacon or something. Or with a bottle of ketchup if you’re a fat slob.

    2014-01-21 18.14.54If it don’t look like this, you fucked up.

  • Tofu Tandoori with Indian Rice

    Hey nerds, I cooked something. Tofu Tandoori with Indian Rice. It’s called that because it’s like chicken tandoori only with tofu. And with rice that’s Indian. And capital letters because that shit’s fancy.

    Tofu Tandoori(Tah-fucking-da)

    Here’s how you do it (I cooked it for two people because I’m not a pathetic lonely loser like you guys):

    The Indian Rice

    • 1 1/2 cups basmati rice
    • 2 cups water
    • 2 teaspoons butter
    • 1 tablespoon sugar
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    • 6 cardamom pods (I just used a teaspoon of cardamom powder because pods come in huge packs)
    • 1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder (I just ground half a ginger root because I had it and it pissed me off lying there)
    • 1/4 cup raisins

    Toss that shit in a pot and cook it until the water has magically disappeared. Then eat it with other Indian shit like:

    Tofu Tandoori

    • 200g tofu
    • 100g mangetout
    • 150g beansprouts
    • 1/2 paprika
    • some carrots and champignons
    • 1 onion
    • 400g of yogurt
    • a bit of pineapple or regular apple (if you like sweet stuff in your spicy food like moi)
    • tandoori paste (because I’m a lazy fuck, if you wanna make yours yourself, these are the spices you should use)

    Wake your bitch ass up. Cut the tofu in pieces (just, like, whatever size you want, like 1x1x1cm or something). Then stir a tablespoon of a tandoori into a cup filled with two tablespoons of yogurt. Taste. If you can’t handle the heat, add more yogurt; if you’re an actual man, add more tandoori. Once you’re happy (like, with the tofu, I don’t care about your feelings dude), mix the tofu and the tandoori in a tupperware box. Then close it. And wait for 8 hours.

    Do other shit. Go out. Do drugs. Contemplate existence. Whatever.

    Okay, now start making the Indian Rice. Then cut your veggies (big pieces and stripes, you wanna eat this stuff with chopsticks), throw them in a wok, fry them (in the following order: onions, carrots, paprika, mangetout, champignons, whatever I forgot).

    Then take the leftover yogurt and mix it with tandoori paste. Like, you already did this once, you can do it again, even if it’s more yogurt now (hint: more yogurt needs more tandoori, use your brain for once, me and your parents are disappointed in you).

    You can make less tandoori. I don’t care. I just wanted sauce. No, you’re a fatty. I am rubber, you are glue.

    Toss all the leftover shit into the wok: the tandoori you just made, the tofu. Leave the Tupperware, it tends to melt.

    Stir a bit. Wait a few moments for that shit to magically start to boil. Then immediately stop it from boiling. Like, blow on it or something. If it boils for too long, it’ll go toxic and YOU WILL DIE.

    Then put it in a bowl with some of the Indian Rice and eat it.

    Tofu Tandoori

    If it don’t look like this, you fucked up.

  • Das Pferd auf dem Balkon / The Horse on the Balcony

    You all know it’s no secret I like children’s movies. I love the way they can tell two stories at the same time: One for kids, and one for adults. The horse on the balcony, an Austrian film directed by the otherwise unknown Hüseyin Tabak, immediately struck me as that kind of movie. It was the kind of movie that sounded so crazy I just had to like it.

    (more…)

  • Monsters University

    “I found a nickel! Sure wish I had pockets.” (Mike)

    I have to admit I wasn’t really looking forward to Monsters University. In fact, I was slightly worried – not worried that it might be a bad movie, per se, but that it might ruin the 2001 original, one of my favourite movies, for ever. When I got up from my seat two hours later, I was happy to find that not only is the original movie still intact, Monsters University even manages to be quite fun!

    (more…)

  • Star Trek Into Darkness

    “I told you we’d fit!”  “I’m not sure that qualifies.”

    I have said this before: I never really liked Star Trek. Growing up with The Next Generation, Star Trek was always that show with the bald guy in spandex my sister used to watch. So, as you might recall, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek and not only was thoroughly entertained, but finally understood what was so appealing about the multicultural guys in space in the first place. And as I saw Benedict Cumberbatch in the teaser for Star Trek Into Darkness, my mind was blown: They could literally surpass the sky as the limit.

    But did they? (They did.)

    (more…)