Jurassic World

Alt. title: No, I don’t know any shame. Why do you ask?

So yes, I went to the movies and watched Jurassic World. And yes! I did so out of my own free will. Nobody forced me, nobody kidnapped me, and nobody threatened my family via webcam. I just went to the movies with a couple of friends, sat my fat butt down in a comfy chair, put on those terrible, terrible 3D glasses and checked out a movie about dinosaurs like I was a seven year-old.

Jurassic World takes place 20 years after Jurassic Park. The Park has reopened its door and is now a thriving amusement park complete with rides and
who am I kidding nobody cares. Jurassic World is a movie in which dumb science dudes invent a crazy dinosaur called Indominus Rex, sexy Chris Pratt domesticates raptors and quirky-hot Bryce Dallas Howard dukes it out with the T-rex from the first movie.

Let there be no mistake: Jurassic World is a dumb movie. You really have to check your brain at the gate. If you manage, though, the reward is tremendous: While Jurassic World might start sluggish and boring, it quickly turns into a wild ride. The action scenes are nice (which some good editing between dino action and response at the park’s HQ), Chris Pratt is dreamy and hilarious, the screenplay goes from the bad kind of terrible to the best kind of terrible.

Seriously. Look at this screengrab:


That is an actual line from this hilariously dumb and incredibly expensive Hollywood movie. And if you turn off your inner cynic you might actually think it’s pretty rad.

If life hands you lemons, ignore the lemons for two hours and go watch this instead.

And that’s really all there is to say.